great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
