youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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