So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize