I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize