Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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