3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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