It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder meâ€
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
