Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize