another moral hangover. fuck.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize