she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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