New low: just hacked my moms facebook
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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