So drunk its hurt
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
