Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
honey bunches of taint.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
