I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
