I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She needs sedatives and a leash
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
