3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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