Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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