Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
