I cockslap morals
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
