that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize