i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
