R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
