i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
