i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
