Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize