he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
