You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
