And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
