Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
