The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
