i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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