Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
