Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
