if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
