I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
