Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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