I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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