just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
