You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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