someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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