but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
