If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
