I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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