grandma shit on top of the toilet
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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