wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
