also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
