Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
