Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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