Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
