he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
