Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
