I'll bet she douches with gravy.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
