hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
