No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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