Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
