Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Someone signed my nipple.
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