Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize