went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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