Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
