The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
