I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
