my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
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I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
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Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Did you pee in the oven last night??
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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