oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
