I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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