Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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